Spideman 3

[miss_squiddy]

I am loving reading all of your reviews of Spiderman 3*. If you've written one (or read a good one), please cut and paste it into a comment here. I need something to make me chuckle today.

*Soooooooo not going to see it, by the way...

Comments

[tintintin.livejournal.com]

I wrote the following on a comics forum I frequent:

Just got back from watching S-M 3.

It's very funny, for about the first half. It has some good acting, and some very nicely directed sequences. And the action bits are pretty compelling.

However, it would have been a much more enjoyable and less grindingly over-the-top film if it had dropped the superhero veneer and just been the romantic tragi-farce it so wanted to be. It's totally Peter Parker's film; whenever Spider-Man's on screen in his place, it just crawls along (no pun intended), filling time with enormously expensive video game sequences until the next poignant PP/MJ vignette or hilarious skit is due.

The villains were rubbish. Thomas Haden Church got his teeth into the role of Flint Marko well enough, and the effects were pretty jazzy, but his involvement in the story was circumstantial retcon, and his narrative was crudely-fashioned tear-jerking balls. Venom was even worse; Topher Grace as Eddie Brock was fine; I enjoyed the character of Brock as asshole rival to Parker. But the whole symbiote storyline was distinctly underwhelming - it appeared out of nowhere, and was put back in its box (literally and metaphorically) as and when it needed to take a back seat, then Venom's pantomime EEEEVIL routine set up a thoroughly silly final act that seemed deeply unsatisfactory to me.

James Franco was excellent, going from goofy and amnesiac as NiceHarry, to Defoe-ishly wolfish and squinty in Goblin mode. Tobey Maguire looks doughy and fat, but plays the role wonderfully (apart from when he has to cry, when he just looks constipated). Aunt May was acted perfectly, but by God, I wanted her off the screen ASAP whenever she appeared. JK Simmons stole every scene he was in. Bryce Dallas Howard was hot, if only in comparison to Kirsten Dunst. La Dunst, given a thanklessly shitty role (wow, how bad did they want MJ to look? petulant, sulky, inconstant, envious, ungrateful and spiteful...), managed to make her only the third most irritating person in the film, after the grindingly awful female British telejourno reporting on the Venom/Sandman hostage thing (was she just local colour? inserted for Brit audiences? Because she stank, and really grated with the rest of the film), and Stan Lee, who really should just shuffle off out of view now.

I want to see a new Pink Panther film with Bruce Campbell as Inspector Clouseau.

So, in a nutshell, I'm glad I saw it, and I suppose I enjoyed it - I'm not entirely convinced - but there's easily as much crap in there as there was brilliance.

[miss-soap.livejournal.com]

This was andyknifton's review:

[miss_squiddy]

Heeheehee! Best one so far!

[jozafeen.livejournal.com]

From a friend's LJ review: "The sight of Peter Parker being a whiny little emo fuckwit with a greasy fringe is something that will stay with with me for a while I think"

No, I won't be watching it either!

[darkapotheosis.livejournal.com]

"Spiderman 3. Ehh what the fuck?"

[(Anonymous)]

Sam Raimi prostituted Venom’s image and destroyed Spiderman franchise, we want a change, we want Guillermo del Toro directing Spiderman 4.