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miss_squiddyBwahahaha! Guess who just found the company cash and carry card? (*my precious!*) Discount booze, anyone?
Things I wonder about when I'm driving
Why does everyone else look so bored and unhappy? Why doesn't anyone else ever seem to be singing along to the radio and why don't they ever smile back when I catch them staring at me in traffic jams?
How do all those shoes end up in the middle of the motorway? How do you loose a shoe on the motorway anyway? Have they fallen off secret night-time shipments of old shoes or something?
How the hell do people manage to get graffiti on the concrete underspan of a motorway bridge? And if it's as much trouble to get there as I reckon it must be, why do they always scrawl something crap like 'Brian 2003'?
Why do some people have more than one 'GB' sticker on the back of their car? What's the point of that?
Also, (stolen from just about everyone) here's Weapons of Math Instruction
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.
Things I wonder about when I'm driving
Also, (stolen from just about everyone) here's Weapons of Math Instruction
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.
"I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."
President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."
Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks.
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(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 02:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 03:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 03:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 04:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 03:50 am (UTC)i think car drivers are usually miserable- they're all in so much of a hurry to get somewhere. maybe you're not in such a hurry as your average driver and hence don't mind? or maybe 99% of people are miserable gits? i always get jealous looks when i cycle by traffic jams, that's for certain!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 04:08 am (UTC)Though the strangest thing I ever saw in the road was a pair of fake breats on the central reservation of the A4063.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 04:35 am (UTC)Silence or I shall post up photos of you with bobbed hair from 1997.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 04:37 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 06:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 07:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 07:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-12-11 06:15 am (UTC)Still a bit of healthy paranoia and adrenaline keeps you younger!
Still Fasterypussykat and still squish free!