My Beautiful Neighbourhood?

[miss_squiddy]

So yesterday evening I find myself in Clwb Ifor quite happily absorbing some pintage and 'dancing' with lucien_dark, Bekki, Conrad Monster and Ian. Nothing unusual so far: this happens every week. But some things don't happen every week and quite frankly made me fear for the general sanity of people:

1) A man with white socks pulled over his jeans up to his knees doing something resembling the Haka and waving his arms in everyone's faces. For about 2 hours.
2) A short potbellied man with bow legs, aged about 50 and wearing a white shirt with red braces attempting to dance to the Darkness with a bunch of teenage metallers.
3) Being chatted up by a bloke who looked like Dave Pie with weird sideburns whos best line was "you're very long..."
4) Returning home at 1.30 to find a man from the house two doors down wearing huge headphones and painting his fence in a very surreptitious manner.

Comments

[lucien-dark.livejournal.com]

Why is 'dancing' in inverted commas? Do you secretly think we all suck at dancing? :-) That painting guy was damn weird though, the only explanation I can think of is that he must have that skin condition where exposure to sunlight causes huge burns, so that was the only time he could get out to paint his fence. Quite sad really, poor feller.

[miss_squiddy]

I don't think you could ever describe 'dancing' as me and Conrad Monster waving our arms about and spinning round in circles.

And good theory... But that doesn't quite explain why he was looking so shifty while he was doing it. I still reckon it was a *crap* practical joke...

[lucien-dark.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I missed that bit of the dancing. If he was looking shifty then maybe it's his fetish - the owner of the house'll come out today and go 'That fucking pervert Jeff has been painting my fence whilst wanking himself off again'

[miss_squiddy]

Ack! He wouldn't complain... He'd probably ask him to do the window frames next time...

Perhaps he was tripping and thought it would be really *amazing* to paint something black while it was dark?

[miss_squiddy]

Anyway, look what I found for you. (It should help to fulfill your urges to become Snoopy-snoopy-dog-dogg. Word.)

<td bgcolor="#000000"> gangsta name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">'miss_squiddy'</td><td bgcolor="#000000"> gangsta job</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">driver </td><td bgcolor="#000000">your fucking problem</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">crack addict </td><td bgcolor="#000000"># of times you ran from the cops</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">7 </td><td bgcolor="#000000">your saying</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">fuck that bitch </td>

This is how a fucking gangsta rolls.. by starlitelily
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

[lucien-dark.livejournal.com]

Heehee, you're a crack ho. I'm a shooter apparently, tho the site's down for some reason so I can't find out my saying again. It wasn't very good though, so I'll make up a new one: 'I'm a badass nigga, clubhoppin' jigga, headcrackin' bitch slappin' quick on ma feet gangsta playa elite'

[miss_squiddy]

I bet you stole that from GLC, didn't you? Either that or you've missed your calling in life and you're going to turn up on my doorstep later wearing a big furry coat and *far* too much gold...

Uh. What. Yeah. C'mon.

[lucien-dark.livejournal.com]

I did actually make that up off the top of my head. Maybe I do need some big pimpin' threads.

Off to work now, to turn out the hoes. Or work on a website, either's good.

[miss_squiddy]

OK then, Mr. Gangsta Playa Elite, I'll see you later... Don't get mown down in a drive-by while you're passing through the Albany Road hood. (I don't think there's enough space in phiil's room for us all host the huge concert and record the massive tribute single your demise would surely provoke.) Peace out.

[lucien-dark.livejournal.com]

I dunno, when he actually tidies the place there's a surprising amount of space in there.