"Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese..."

[miss_squiddy]

Who would play you in a film of your life? What would the trailer be like? What about the title and tagline? Soundtrack?

I would be Neve Campbell and my trailer would have guns and explosions (artistic licence), beer, a cameo appearance by Rob Zombie, some snappy one liners and lots of people being clobbered by baguettes.
It would probably be called something dull like 'Squiddy' (tagline: "Drink. Debauchery. Bread-related products") Cert 18. Contains scenes of mild peril.
OST featuring Combichrist, Cubanate, G15, Bonzo Dog, Primal Scream and Zodiac Mindwarp.

Are you bored Squiddy? Why yes. However did you guess?

Comments

[sheepthief.livejournal.com]

The exciting bits would all fit in the trailer, leaving little of any substance for the actual film. So there you go - I can truly describe my life as being just like Hollywood.

[miss_squiddy]

I'm sure that's not true. 'Sheeptheif: One man's struggle to achieve truly epic hair.'

[pleb.livejournal.com]

It'd probably be called something along the lines of 'Dead girls don't say no'. At present, it lacks a tagline so I'd probably end up paying some sort of drunken, jaded acquaintance to provide the necessary snappy subtitle.

The trailer would consist of lots of grainy footage of large-breasted women on motorcycles and people 'shimmying' sleazily in gaudy, Vegas-style bars. In addition, there would be a fight on the roof of a speeding train, an old fighter plane, vomiting, some explosions and a bag of Kittens involved - no doubt filmed in Super-saturated Psycho-colour™.

The cast would include Terry Thomas, Peter Cook, Carol Cleveland, Valerie Leon, Peter Lorre and that awful kid who played Screech in 'Saved By The Bell'.

The soundtrack album would include specially written John Barry numbers, some Scott Walker, Tom Waits, Pat Benatar and Children of Bodom. It would spend longer in the charts than Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell.

So....how bored does that make me?

[mortarach.livejournal.com]

David Hasslehoff would play me.

The trailer would be in the standard format:

"He was a lone man in a world turned upside down.
"Fighting other men....gone BAD!"
"Only one man can help him clear his name."
"But can he survive long enough to find him!"
- DAVE MOORE: The fattening

The film would be film in downtown LA (as Americans will be able to relate to it then) and the sarcasm will be removed from the script (as Americans don't understand it).

My grey Cavalier will be suitable played by a traditional gypsy caravan with a mule called "Jerome".
The plot would be that I am a graphic designer by day, but at the call of danger I become a winged superhero...
... the rest of the plot is ripped from Condor Man (starring Michael Crawford).

There would be an alernative ending where I accidentally drink a potion that makes me sleep too long and I wake up in a cave to find out side their is post-appocalyptic Cardiff (downtown LA) much to my horror.

There would be a cameo from John Candy... as the corpse that falls off a cliff and hits the evil bad guy "Flamebeard" who goes under the real life name of "Jim Patching" and is played by Brian Blessed.

Missing friends

[shellbun.livejournal.com]

Where have you BEEN ?????

Bun x

Re: Missing friends

[miss_squiddy]

Germany. But I'm back now. See you tonight.

Rediscovered friends

[shellbun.livejournal.com]

Ah! - wondered if you were in fact out of the country.

See you tonight mate.

Bun x

This Is Not A Film

[recursived.livejournal.com]

Title: This Is Not A Film

Tagline: One Man, One Mission, One Crazy Messed Up Movie Experience

Trailer: Screen: Black
Sound: Heartbeat thudding and my actor saying "It depends on what you mean by..."
Deep voiced American bloke: Coming soon... a journey... into the depths... of lethargy.
Speeded-up montage (to "Flight of the Bumblebee") of me (well, Kevin Spacey) on a bicycle, typing at a keyboard, drinking beer and nodding sage-like. Film title appears against black background (heart beat thudding again) with the "Not" part in scribbled handwriting.

Soundtrack by Cage's 3'11".

Starring Kevin Spacey as myself but the main focus of the film would be on a CIA agent (played by Ewan McGregor) who's been tasked by President Greg V. Bish (Geoffrey Rush) to assasinate me. All of the segments with Kevin Spacey in them will be in B&W. Ewan's love interest will be played by Siena Miller, whilst mine is played by Jean Michel-Jarre (in a dress).

Re: This Is Not A Film

[miss_squiddy]

All of my friends are WEIRD!

Re: This Is Not A Film

[recursived.livejournal.com]

In a "...Justice For All" Pacino-stylee: we're weird?

Re: This Is Not A Film

[miss_squiddy]

Yep. I consider everything I do to be perfectly normal and I have to judge you by my standards.

Re: This Is Not A Film

[recursived.livejournal.com]

So you have a sign that says "You Don't Have To Mad To Work Here, But It Helps!!!" above your desk at work then, given that only the most extreme conformists/normalists seem to have that one.

[miss_squiddy]

Er... no. And if I was in charge it would be a sacking offence.

"Veni vidi reliqui." ("I came, I saw, I left.")

[clovenhoof.livejournal.com]

Title: "Veni vidi reliqui." ("I came, I saw, I left.")

Tagline: A film with so many twists, it’s kinky!
Soundtrack: The Doors, Pixies, NIN and an assortment or cheese.
Staring: Bruce Camble
Trailer: Hard core fast paced electronica music and quick action packed cuts of car chases, wild animals, sexy girls, warriors in sword fights and swinging from ropes and then suddenly the music is replaced by….. The Doors – People are strange and the picture shows a rather confused looking Bruce Camble in a purple haze of smoke.